have you ever had a friend let you down? a time when you needed them, and they bailed? a moment when things just blew up? when the angst took on a life of its own? an epiphany that made you say enough is enough. i’m done.
when you’re in the midst of drama, it’s vivid. it’s raging. and all you can see is red… and black and white. you think of how you were wronged. how they had the audacity to treat you that way. how you were right and they were clueless. how shades of grey were only reserved for met home layouts—not your life.
in circumstances like that, it’s easy to walk away. friendships are so hard to maintain as it is. who has the time or energy to deal with someone who’s not going to give you the respect you deserve? someone who you can’t count on when things get rough.
…and then time or facebook or a reunion or a wedding brings them back into your life. what do you do?
whether it’s been a few months or many years, memories come flooding back. relationships that weren’t meant to be. grudges that played out long ago in another life. friends that simply fell off the face of the earth due to changes that sent you in opposite directions.
when you look back, it’s amazing how the colors fade and edges soften. you realize how much you’ve changed. you wonder what all the fuss was about. you laugh about old times and experiences that you had back in the day. you amazingly pick up right where you left off.
and if it was a really good friend, you dig a little deeper, only to find that the day they let you down, they were down too. that when you had a problem, they were dealing with their own. that maybe, just maybe, it was timing or circumstances that conspired against you both.
as i’ve gotten older, i’ve come to embrace the idea of forgiveness—of others and yourself. understanding that it’s sometimes complicated. accepting the past and moving on. truly valuing all the experiences you’ve had, places you’ve gone, people you’ve met, situations you’ve learned from. because it’s the bits and pieces of the past that shape you…and it’s never too late to add to the mosaic.